Why Lost Sucks

The End

2010-05-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

Once they set the end date the show got a hell of a lot better. There were still bad episodes, but looking back on 6 seasons there were a ridiculous number of awesome moments. I recently learned that Mr. Echo was written off the show due to the actor's request, which changed my opinion of the show as a whole in a big way. I would've been okay with a few more answers, but all in all I will remember the show fondly.

Halloween LOST: The Return of Michael

2007-07-26T12:38:00.000-07:00

Michael will return in Season 4. Could I be more disappointed?

I'm Out

2007-06-28T17:23:00.000-07:00

Great finish to season 3. I love the plan for only 3 more shorter seasons, with consecutive show airings. I have faith in the writing staff and producers and my demands have been answered. I sign off until such time that the show forces my return, but for now I am pleased.

Diamonds? Seriously?

2007-03-30T03:33:00.000-07:00

Ultimate Lost RecapNothing happens! Can't wait until next week!

Not a bad episode, but a total throwaway. We are fully introduced to 2 characters who suddenly showed up in this season, but they die in the first 2 minutes of the episodes. Sawyer has the line of the night, after Hurley tells him that "Nikki's dead," "Who the hell is Nikki?" Hahaha, so funny, but that makes it clear that the writers are fully aware they are pulling a stupid stunt to introduce characters that should have been introduced a long time ago. Sure, there's no reason why they couldn't do it, just that it's stupid. They are self-aware that they are making stupid writing choices- so why don't they avoid them? Would it be possible to not introduce back characters like this?

The episode had a nice feel to it, want to know why? Because of all the flashbacks to season 1. They even brought in the old actors for Boone, Shannon and Arntz! Could they be more obvious? "Sorry the last 2 seasons sucked, so we'll just go back in time to season 1 when the show was interesting, and we'll use a few clips to reestablish that feeling." Idiots.

And what a nice ending. Is this The Twilight Zone all of a sudden? And who packs a shovel on an airplane trip from Australia to the US?

Next week: Kate punches the blond Other in the face (again?)

Falling Down

2007-03-30T03:21:00.000-07:00

Ultimate Lost RecapKate and Sayid get captured trying to talk to Jack, who is about to go home on the submarine. Locke avoids captivity, takes Ben hostage, and ends up blowing up the submarine with the C4 he stole last week. Also, Locke broke his back when his dad shoved him out a window when he was going to rat him out to the police, and apparently his dad is now tied up and gagged in a room in the Others' compound (although it is unclear if it is a magical box that shows you what you want or something).

This episode was pretty good. I thought Locke acted like an idiot. I thought Kate acted like an idiot. I thought Sayid acted like an idiot (seriously, he never gets caught). They acted like idiots, but I can't say they acted out of character.

I am continually disappointed with Locke's childish behavior. What was once mysterious is now simple foolishness.

I am continually pissed off by the interactions of the Others with the Survivors. Here is an analogy: you are a parent (the Others). You have a child (the Survivors). Your child wants chocolate (to get answers / off the island). Every time your child tries to get chocolate, you slap them in the face and yell "Noooo!" This is not going to make your child stop wanting chocolate, this is just going to piss them off and make them want to murder you. However, if you tell your child that they are not supposed to eat chocolate because it will ruin your dinner (the island is a giant science experiment to save the Survivors from an End of Days electromagnet scenario or something), then you give your child the choice to behave. The Others have long since passed the point when it would be reasonable to continue not explaining The Situation to the survivors. If the Others keep talking about how they know the personal history and full names of the Survivors without going into any reasoning as to why they know, well, it's a matter of time before they are all as crazy/stupid as Locke, who had to make up his own little world of reasoning.

Locke is a moron, Part Infinity

2007-03-21T05:54:00.000-07:00

Ultimate Lost RecapSayid, Kate and Locke find The Other's outpost.

All in all, a respectable episode. The end date for the show has not been set yet, but if they do set it we might expect more episodes like this.

I need a word for when the Back Story sucks and doesn't add anything to the plot. I will select the winner from the comments, and use the word whenever something like this happens (frequently). So Jack and Claire are related- I don't give a crap! Unless Jack is the father of her baby, it just doesn't matter. It doesn't help that my wife figured this out a year ago when Jack saw his father at the house of a woman that looked a lot like an older Claire- and there was a little girl around or something. Anywhoo, boring.

The thing with the sonic fence was moderately cool, although I was almost certain that Dharma dude was faking it. "It's a trick. Get an axe."

French lady got out of there pretty quickly, didn't she?

Locke. Seriously dude, what happened? He used to be in tune with the island. Now he's just running around like a turd. First of all, how could he steal the C4 without blowing up the outpost? And why lie about it? Then he decides to shove that guy through the fence- nice. I'm a little disappointed his head didn't explode, but the sonic thing was a nice touch.

Next week we find out what we stopped caring about a year ago: how Locke got in his wheelchair (that he mysteriously got out of later). I'm betting he was faking it / it was in his head or something.

Checkmate, Locke is a Loser

2007-03-09T10:30:00.000-08:00

Ultimate Lost RecapSayid found a new Dharma outpost, "The Flame", as well as a map to another outpost, "The Barracks". Locke screws up several times, resulting in a death and the destruction of "The Flame".

Was Locke ever responsible? A long time ago he had this mysterious understanding, but as more time passes he is clearly an idiot. He makes stupid decisions but he somehow thinks he knows best. He was a little more independent in season 1, but since they found the hatch he became a little helpless.

Stupid Locke Decision (SLD) #1: How many times does he need to accidentally let a prisoner escape before he starts paying attention? The guy appears to be unconscious and is tied up, so he goes and plays computer chess? Are you kidding? Worst guard ever. Sayid gave him a look later that implies he will never trust him to be responsible again.

SLD #2: Entering "77". Did he really not think there would be consequences? The entire second season of the show was based around mindlessly entering some numbers in a computer, and when he decided it wasn't important the entire hatch imploded and Desmond got shot into the future/past/something. So of course he doesn't think twice before telling the computer that the station had been overtaken. OF COURSE it will self-destruct, as apparently all the stations are wired to do.

I forget that Sayid is one of the few smart characters that actually makes good decisions. He needs to be involved in all group decisions, as he tends to be right (except the whole approaching with no weapons thing). He actually took something of value from the Dharma basement- wow, a smart decision by a character. How refreshing.

How many times has Kate lost her temper and punched someone in the face?

The side story was nice, showing some decent Hurley / Sawyer interaction. It didn't take up too much time, and they wrapped it up well. Good job.

The back story was pointless. We know Sayid was a torturer and feels bad about it. He's given clemency to prisoners before, so the back story doesn't add anything. Really pointless. We have long since passed the point where the back stories were clearly thought out before the show was created, and the writers are now being forced to come up with back story to fill time. Possibly at gun point.

Why did the dude shoot that lady? WTF? That makes no sense. I'm betting we'll never find out, either. What the crap could be worth her dying? It makes no sense. None. And why did the guy shoot Sayid in the shoulder? If he saw him coming, was that his whole plan? Why not just kill him? Why not lure him inside and then kill him? Again, no sense.

All in all, not a horrendous episode. The pacing was okay and the decisions by characters were reasonable for the most part. It is too bad that we haven't actually gotten any closer to finding anything out. I'm still sticking with the "writers are figuring it out as they go along" approach.

It Was The Blurst Of Times

2007-03-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

Ultimate Lost RecapNothing Happened. Seriously.

Wow, that was boring. Hurley found a car on the island, which was actually kind of cool. Although it felt like I was watching Little Miss Sunshine, what with the VW van having to roll down the hill to start and all. Hurley's back story revealed that he had a deadbeat dad (played by Cheech), but we didn't actually learn anything about him. Well, except that his Mr. Chicken restaurant was destroyed by a meteor.

And "The Reunion Everyone has been Waiting For" was apparently when Kate and Sawyer came back. If the staff of Lost thinks that anyone cared about that reunion, they are sadly mistaken.

The only thing of actual substance in the show was the last 90 seconds, when Kate went into the woods to find the French woman. Kate then revealed that she thinks Alex is the Frenchie's daughter, but she says it in a way like it's supposed to be shocking- then they cut to the NEEEEUUUURRRR-BOOM sound, end credits. I was confused- we've known that she was her daughter for like 2 years, right? She can't possibly be unaware that she's alive, right? Even if it's shocking to Frenchie, why would the pretend like *we* would be surprised?

This show was complete filler. The last scene could have happend in the first 2 minutes of a decent episode. It is clear that ABC hates the viewers of Lost.

Dear ABC,

You have a show that is interesting because of a mysterious plot. The characters on the show are horrible, and we don't care about them. Please continue revealing the mysterious plot, but it had better not be stupid. We are starting to think that you are completely full of it.

Love,
Your (Dwindling) Viewers

PS Kill at least 3 main characters, NOW!

PPS WTF happened to Walt? Wasn't he part of the show for a while or something?

Jack Attack

2007-02-23T05:40:00.000-08:00

Ultimate Lost RecapWe find out how Jack got half of his tattoo. It's lame.

An extraordinarily boring episode last night that I actually fast forwarded through at one point (a first). During island time: Kate and Sawyer broke up (that was fast), Jack changed his mind 45 times and ends up saving the blond lady. Quote of the day: "break off a branch from that aloe plant [that just so happens to be within eyesight of my outdoor cage- also, grab a leaf from that neosporin plant and the bark of that band-aid tree]".

The back story was horrendous, as are all of Jack's stories. We find out how he get his tattoo, or at least half of it (I guess they are saving the rest of the tattoo for another back story? WTF?). He fell hard for a kite-flying Chinese woman who he thought was a hooker, but was actually a tattoo artist. But she doesn't give tattoos, she SHE'S WHO PEOPLE REALLY ARE AND THEN GIVES THEM A TATTOO OF WHAT SHE SHES. She acts like it is this horrible gift/curse thing, but then she gives Jack a tattoo (after he roughs her up) because it is suddenly very important that he gets one. For unexplained reasons this is an act of cultural war, although it would have been a little less stupid if those reasons were explained. At any rate, the woman's brother and friends come and beat up Jack and tell him to leave because he got this Mystic Tattoo- but it's only part of the tattoo. Why? Why could it not be the whole tattoo? AGGGGG!

Island story: apparently there is a new sheriff in town, literally. Some new woman island character is the sheriff, finding out what happened with the blond lady killing that other dude. They are going to execute her or something, but then Jack gets, well, it doesn't really matter what happens. The end result is she is alive, Jack helped her, whatevs.

During the course of this turd of a story, Jack sees the stewardess from The Plane. She is outside his cage, along with a bunch of other extras and some little blond white girl we are supposed to remember, I think. She asks Jack how he's doing, and the little girl wants to know how Ana Lucia is. Jack flips out (appropriately), because these people are obviously brain damaged. The ongoing "The Others don't think of themselves as bad guys" thing is probably the worst part of the plot, in my eyes. They cannot possibly be acting for good reasons that are unknown to us at this time, in which case they are up to no good. Which is fine, but the fact that they act like they aren't crazy evil bastards is really annoying.

Horrible Scenes From Next Week: "The Reunion Everyone Has Been Waiting For"? WTF? NOTHING about those scenes make me want to tune in. I think the writers are all just stretching this plot thing out as far as they can because they don't think the network is going to let them call it at 5 seasons, only they don't have enough plot for 9 seasons or whatever. So they are just going to insert horrible pointless episodes a dozen times a season just to stretch it out. In the meantime, viewership is dropping rapidly and the show is flat out sucking. So maybe that's the master plan- make the show suck, get the network to agree to stop producing after 5 seasons, then go buck wild and do all the ideas they have stored in a magic notebook somewhere.

I'm Sorry, But Lost is Boring, Brother

2007-02-15T22:00:00.000-08:00

Ultimate Lost RecapDesmond can tell the future, but only because it's actually his past. He thinks Charlie will die soon.

Snore. Last night's episode was much ado about nothing. Can Desmond tell the future? No he can't, he's just reliving his own life a la Groundhog Day. But wait, he hasn't lived the part that he's seeing, so I guess he can sort of tell the future? But only in a seeing his own memory kind of way.

At any rate, he has fallen into the total confusion / obey everyone trap that so many other characters fall into. After he goes back in time or whatever, he is completely befuddled by every single thing that happens to him. Then some old white woman happens to know exactly what's happening to him and can apparently see into the future, and tells him he's supposed to do what he's already done again, or else everyone dies. WTF? So, unless he continues the horrible cycle of not marrying the girl he loves, getting stranded on a deserted island for several years, then killing himself by turning the key again, then the world will end? I say again, WTF?

He fails to do this, and then he wakes up again on the island, naked (so I guess Terminator time travel rules are in effect). But, he still accepts everything the old woman said to him as God's truth, even though he really has no reason to believe her (the whole universe correcting itself thing).

Are you bored yet? Because I am. End result: apparently Charlie is going to die, except that his character sucks and I don't care if he dies. At least Claire can raise her child in peace without the overprotective role-confused former junkie / world famous pop singer/writer.

Side note 1: Desmond says he was saving Charlie, but wouldn't Claire have drowned, too? I mean, if he hadn't taken off running, she probably would have just washed up on the shore days later, since nobody could even see her from the shore. And is she an idiot, too? She takes a swim in the ocean by herself every time she goes for a walk? Except apparently she doesn't know how to swim and ends up passing out a few hundred yards from shore! Man, that was dumb.

Side note 2: So was that bottle of whiskey worth $100K or something? Because most pubs don't carry whiskey where "each sip is worth more than you could possibly make in a month". I mean, even at minimum wage, that means each sip is still worth a couple of grand, and there have to be at least 50 sips per bottle. And they had a bottle at that pub on the corner. Weak.

Side note 3: Was anybody else annoyed that Hurley and Charlie didn't know that Eko was dead? That happened like a year ago, I would assume that everyone on the island already knows about it. And when Locke says crap like "the island killed him", well, that would really piss me off. "The island killed him" doesn't tell me anything, Locke- was he eaten by a polar bear (perhaps the same one that tried to kill him earlier), or was it the black smoke thing, or the Others, or some dynamite- because they are all "the island" to me.

Side note 4: The previews for this week had Kate and Sawyer coming back and getting everybody ready to go get Jack, right? So what happened? Did they only have enough material for 10 episodes this season, so they just started dumping these crap episodes in between? It's not "tricky" or "clever", it's just angering.

Lost Still Sucks, Harder Than Ever

2007-02-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

Gee, I think I'll start my season in October, reel off 8 episodes and then take a break for 4 months. What a great idea! Idiots.

TIVO side note: did anyone else have this problem? I happened to check on Wednesday night and discover that the episode wasn't going to record, because the Recap show was scheduled from 9-10 and was considered "new". Since I add 10 minutes onto Lost because ABC occassionally lies about the show length, the Recap show was going to take precedence over the actual show. If ABC was honest and would just air the show when they say they will, this wouldn't happen. Are they taking notes from MLB and the NBA about how to treat the best fans? Idiots.

I started season 3 totally ready to quit forever, but the plane crashing over the heads of The Others sucked me back in. Some cool stuff happened (I can't really remember it was a long time ago), but then they killed the only good character, Mr. Eko. The only thing keeping me going right now is the fact that they will be showing the rest of the season in the next 15 weeks, so I only have to put forth minimum effort.

Let me be clear: the last episode sucked. Jack is worthless. The Others are completely one-dimensional and evil. The brainwashing room? Are you serious? How can they pretend that these are "the good guys"? They are murderers and torturers with weapons and full knowledge/control of the situation (the only thing that gives Sayid a pass). Idiots.

Why can you easily see the main island from the second island, but the second island cannot be seen from the main island? WTF?

I did love that little hideaway grass covered thing when Sawyer and Kate were running from the Others. The first time I saw it. When it was in Robinhood: Prince of Thieves.

Why was Kate crying when she retold that story (which sucked by the way)? Like she is really going to never see Jack again, even though she doesn't have any feelings for him? Previews from next week (which always give away too much) make that perfectly clear. ABC sucks as making previews for the next week.

Where are the people on the other island? Do they just sit around and make s'mores when Jack and Sawyer aren't there?

The back story on the blonde woman was terrible, although I really shouldn't be surprised. But the guy getting hit by the bus was just awful writing. Awful. It almost ruined Mean Girls and it completely ruined the episode. People walk in front of buses, but they don't stand in the street for 5 minutes and THEN get run over by a bus. And there is a 0% chance the company could pull that off. 0%. Not even in make believe world. The plausibility of this show has been completely decimated. In season 1 they had fun with the magical island thing having unexplained side effects, but at this point it's just insulting. This show is clearly not for children, and yet as viewers we are being treated as such. I'm not sure that Lost can recover. Idiots.

Is it all a dream?

2006-02-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

Great, 2 main characters completely went against what we were led to believe were their motivations. Are we supposed to forget that Sawyer has a heart of gold? Now he's just a simple con man again? That was weak. And Charlie, who used to be a decent person with a drug problem, and only seemed to turn bad when the drugs were involved, is now just a bad person. In fact, he would beat and kidnap one of his friends and turn all the guns over to Sawyer just so that Locke would look bad? Are you freaking kidding me?

We seem to be denegrating towards a little Lord of the Flies type behavior, but that totally goes against the flow of the community. The survivors continue to become more organized, more stable, (and fatter???) as they rely on their neverending supplies. The island mystery plot has gone nowhere fast, with maybe 2 episodes worth of story. I'm not sure if I can keep this up gang. I know there really isn't anybody out there (is there?), but this show is getting to be too much for me to even talk about.

Charlie Sucks Hard

2006-01-25T19:28:00.000-08:00

Using Heroin is a poor choice. Setting some crap on fire and kidnapping a woman's baby because you had a dream that it needed to be baptized is an extremely bad choice.

Completely useless Charlie flashbacks, in which we learned that he got a piano and saw some more of him sacrificing his life for his asshole brother. We learn nothing. No island plot advancement, either. Completely useless episode on the whole, except for a few Hurley bits.

Man do they have an endless supply of tarps, or what?

I was thinking about this: Jack is a "good guy", but deep down he's an idiot. Sawyer is an asshole, but deep down he's a good guy. If *I* had to choose between them, I'm going with Sawyer. I used to think Kate was stupid for hanging out with Sawyer, but now I realize that she is making the right call. Although it's easy to forget that Jack is a brilliant doctor and Sawyer is a con-man who screws over women for money, so that's more than just a superficial difference. At any rate this is the worst love triangle ever, and I hope Jack realizes that Ana Lucia would make a much better Queen of the Island anyways.

Michael Sucks, Jack Sucks

2006-01-19T07:03:00.000-08:00

The characters of Michael and Jack continue to be freaking lame morons. Michael steals some guns and runs off, throwing Jack and Lock in the sealed gun room. They would have let him go by himself, which is a stupid idea, but he's a dumb dumb person. His character is so terrible. He makes horrible decisions and I'm not sure why anyone likes him. I'm not sure why he wants Walt back so bad, he still won't know how to raise him.

Jack is just the worst person in the world. He doesn't know how to talk to anyone, and gets pissed off all the time and just acts like a 2 year old in general. He has foolish illusions of grandeur, and some kind of stupid sense of purpose. He is constantly suprised when everyone acts differently than he expects them to, which is always. Classic scene: he and Lock and Sawyer are surrounded by about 30 Others (with guns in the dark), and yet he refuses to surrender. Man, even Yul Brenner surrendered in the Magnificent Seven when *he* was highly outnumbered. You regroup and fight another day, you jackass.

A few moments of laughter from Hurley, who I miss. A few moments of cool, courtesy of Zeke and the Others. This show can be decent when it wants to be. But I'm completely done with the flashbacks already. I don't give two craps about 90% of the characters, and knowing more of their backstory just makes them less mysterious and more lame. That was something really cool about season 1, when everyone seemed mysterious and complicated. Now we realize they're all just people who have screwed up their own lives through poor decision making, and that isn't very mysterious.

WTF? Lost Returns.

2006-01-12T05:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I picked a poor time to start this blog- right before a 6 week hiatus. But last night, the various annoying people returned.

Last night was a good episode, in that we learned nothing about the island except that those whispy black smoke things we see are really just glimpses of a large whispy black smoke thing. It stared down Echo, but after realizing he's the best actor on the freaking show it floated away.

We had an Echo episode, and he was one bad dude. He was very softspoken but he literally carried a big stick. His flashback actually adds to his character, for a change.

Charley became a little less likeable, lying his ass off to anyone who wanted to help him.

Michael continued to act like a 2 year old, not telling anybody he was talking to Walt on the computer. Is Walt a Ghost In the Machine type character now? Has he become one with the island or something? I thought we were getting somewhere with Walt having special powers and maybe Claire having powers, too, and then BAM. Nothing for half a season. According to next week's previews, Michael will take his whiny baby act to another level and run off into the woods with guns. Almost everyone on this show acts like they have the social skills of your average Jerry Springer guest.

There was about 2 minutes of a Kate-Jack-Sawyer thing, which I almost don't care about any more. Jack is a pussy and Sawyer is an asshole and Kate is a psycho bitch. I wish Echo and perfect-teeth DUI Ana Lucia would beat everyone to death and then go off and have their own show. They can bring Hurley and Jin. That is all.

Lost Sucks

2005-12-03T12:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, there are a couple of blogs dedicated to bitching about Lost out there already, but they're pretty whiny and don't really break down *why* the show sucks. If you think the entire show is really stupid, don't watch. I hate Lost because the mystery of the show is fairly intriguing, but the way it is being presented is like being poked in the eyes with chapstick tubes, over and over (it's bad, trust me).

I saw the first season when it came out on DVD from Netflix, going through it in about 8 days or so. That's really the way to go, because the interminable "Continued..." shows aren't nearly as bad when you can just pop the next one in. Yeah, the flashbacks were sometimes lame, and some of the shows didn't advance the plot, but as a whole the season was pretty decent.

It's possible the show was just like this last season, and it's possible it's gotten worse. At any rate, I will post every night after Lost airs a new episode, and try and actually provide some insight.

At this point they appear to be going out of their way to piss off everyone who actually likes the show, which is a very bad idea. Yes, I will probably keep watching because I am curious what will happen, but the direction the show is going is making me want to stop watching, which is not what you want in TV's #1 Show. The whole "let's end at 10:05 so TiVo Viewers get screwed" is so incredibly stupid- it amounts to kicking people that are interested in the show in the nuts. I would think you just want as many people watching as possible, and then you would build off that loyalty.

At any rate, I'll do my best to not whine too much.